The Decision You're Avoiding IS the Decision

Dr. Greg Moody — April 17, 2026 | You already decided. You just haven't acknowledged it.

You've got a decision sitting in the back of your mind right now.

You haven't called it that. You've called it "something I'll figure out after this quarter" or "I need more time on that one." The truth is simpler: you already made the decision. You decided not to decide — and that choice is costing you every single day.

Business owner watching scoreboard in dugout

What are the two versions of yes you're choosing between?

"Both Sides of Yes" doesn't mean weighing yes against no. Every situation offers two versions of YES: the one you're saying right now through inaction, and the one you could say through action. Both are real choices and both carry consequences. The only difference is whether you're making yours consciously or on autopilot. Waiting isn't a holding pattern. The decision is already running.

Here's what most people get wrong about Both Sides of Yes.

They think the title means weighing both sides of a yes-or-no question. That's not it. It means there are always two versions of YES available to you — the yes you're saying right now through your inaction, and the yes you could be saying through action. Both are choices. The difference is whether you're making yours consciously or on autopilot.

You're not in a holding pattern. You're already moving.

Why does doing nothing feel safer than deciding?

Because inaction feels less like a choice. Jonathan Baron and Ilana Ritov documented the pattern at the University of Pennsylvania in 1994: given two options with identical outcomes, people consistently pick inaction and call it waiting for clarity. The brain files not deciding as not choosing. It's still a choice, and it compounds. The employee you haven't let go, the pricing you haven't updated, the conversation you haven't started are all producing consequences right now.

In 1994, Jonathan Baron and Ilana Ritov at the University of Pennsylvania documented a pattern they called omission bias.¹ When given two options with identical outcomes, people consistently choose inaction — not because inaction is safer, but because it feels less like a choice and more like "waiting for clarity."

That feeling is the trap.

The employee you haven't let go is costing you more than the one you made a mistake hiring. The pricing you haven't updated is draining more than the increase that might make one customer hesitate. The conversation you haven't had is producing more damage than the one you're afraid to start.

You're not avoiding a decision. You're making one every day. The only question is whether you'll admit it.

What is a frozen decision actually protecting?

One of three things, almost always: your self-image, a relationship, or a fantasy that the problem resolves itself. The question that cuts through faster than "what information am I missing?" is "what am I protecting?" Self-image guards the version of you that never makes visible mistakes. A relationship gives avoidance a thoughtful mask. The fantasy bets on time, and the risk compounds instead of disappearing. Name which one and you're moving.

Here's what cuts through the freeze faster than "what information am I missing?"

It's this: "What am I protecting?"

Business owner shielding a tiny self-image trophy from falling chart

Your self-image. You're protecting the version of yourself that doesn't make visible mistakes. Every leader feels it. The leaders who move past it understand that being wrong in private forever is more expensive than being wrong in public once.

A relationship. You're telling yourself that holding back is considerate. Sometimes it is. Often it's avoidance wearing a thoughtful mask. The test: Is the relationship actually at risk, or are you using it as cover for a decision you don't want to own?

A fantasy. You're betting that this resolves on its own if you wait long enough. The risk almost never disappears. It compounds. And one day you wake up and realize the cost of waiting was higher than the cost of moving.

How do you break the freeze this week?

Four steps, in order. Write the frozen decision in one sentence, not a paragraph. Write the real cost of delaying it another thirty days, with actual numbers if you have them. Ask what you're protecting, name it out loud, and be specific. Then ask what you'd need to know to make the call by Friday. Most of the time you'll find you already know enough.

Student at whiteboard with mentor pointing

Write down the frozen decision in one sentence. "I need to decide ___________." Not a paragraph. One sentence.

Then write the real cost of delaying it another 30 days. Not abstractions. Actual numbers if you have them. Then ask yourself: What am I protecting? Name it. Out loud. Be specific.

Then the final one: What would I need to know to make this call by Friday?

Most of the time, you'll find you already know enough. You needed someone to point out that avoidance is a strategy — and it's not the one you'd choose consciously if you saw clearly what you were trading.

¹ Jonathan Baron and Ilana Ritov, "Omission Bias, Individual Differences, and Normality," Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 94, no. 2 (2004): 74–85.

Dr. Greg Moody started as an aerospace engineer, earned a Master of Counseling and a Ph.D. in Education (all from Arizona State University). He is a licensed psychotherapist, an 8th Degree Black Belt and Chief Master in Taekwondo, founder of KarateBuilt Martial Arts (1995), and a consultant who has spent 30 years helping operators make better decisions under pressure.

← Back to Substack tab